Active parenting stress tips for understanding communication

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Important stress tips use communication in order to be effective in our parenting.

Easing stress tips: Communication is when we send out a message and then receive an appropriate response in return. If there is no response or an inappropriate response to the first message sent out, there is a break in the communication process making it incomplete. Possible reasons are incomplete messages or misunderstanding / misinterpretation of the message. Communication can take place verbally or non-verbally, written, visually, electronically, by touch, or combinations of these.

Communication plays a big part in everyday life. We constantly need to make decisions on how to interpret the communications of those around us. Stress can be the result or product of our interpretation and response to those around us. Our interpretation and response therefore equals our parenting stress index at any given moment.

We all communicate either in a verbal or non-verbal way. Our love and logic parenting starts early, for even as babies we build a foundation for communication skills. After the age of twenty seven months, babies begin to filter the communication they receive. We learn from those around us. Our senses play a big part in how we interpret what is around us. We are also moulded by this experience and find our way through our interpretation of the situation. This process largely creates our belief systems.

Belief systems are the things we choose to believe either through teaching or self interpretations.

It is important to understand these stress tips: The ego has a big part to play in what we choose to add to our belief systems. It is our ego that seeks validations, guilt, fault finding, blame, name calling and recognition to name a few. The more we allow our ego to reign over us, the more we operate from a basis of fear. When our ego is under control the more our true self, or spirit, is free to grow. Our spirit grows when we are disciplined in love. When God’s love is our discipline it is good for us. We are flexible and flowing when we are in God’s infinite love.

Know that God’s love is reaching out to you at this moment! His love is everywhere; just believe it’s true and it will become true for you!

God’s love flows through us when we start the process of self acceptance.

Your role in understanding these stress tips is to establish whether you are regularly breaking yourself down by calling yourself ugly names, belittling your abilities or scolding yourself. Is your answer to one of the previous questions, yes? Then you have not fully accepted yourself. The communication we receive as babies and children directly affects the way we communicate and relate to ourselves and others. Our interpretations can lead us to becoming the bully or the victim. Bullies are not always bullies, they are also sometimes the victims: The same applies to victims they, are also not always the victim and can also resort to bullying others. As we bully ourselves with unhealthy thoughts and taking to heart the unkind words of others, we can take on a victim mentality. The same happens when we victimize ourselves. This can lead us to a bullying mentality. Be especially aware of this in your teenage parenting communication.

‘Love your neighbour as you love yourself’ is a great tip straight from Romans 13:9 in the Bible. Once we accept ourselves with all our faults, we are more flexible and able to love our neighbour easier. We express our love to others through communication. When we do not receive a love response in return we need to evaluate and consider possible hindrances and learn better communication skills and in some cases coping mechanisms. Most people feel justified in their behaviour and this is a result of them following their belief systems or choosing their own interpretation.

Being willing to change can pose a personal crisis that seems so big they feel it is too difficult for them to change. This resistance or belief is directly linked to their knowledge bank.

‘My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge,’ declares God’s Word in Hosea 4:6.

How can we begin to communicate better?

We need to understand how we feel and have the vocabulary to express ourselves in an appropriate manner.Become aware of what you feel. Emotional intelligence is when you know what you feel and you know what to do about it. When a person says they feel angry, they might really be feeling frustrated or upset or scared. Two children may both seem happy and talkative, yet one could be truly happy while for the other it is a way of saying, “I am unhappy and can’t find the words to express myself”. I once heard the story of a little boy who landed up in the principal’s office crying uncontrollably. When the principal asked what the matter was the little boy said, “I am angry.” The principal observed him and asked, “Are you sure, you seem more upset or sad?” The little boy thought about it and agreed that he actually was more upset than angry. To better our communication we need find the descriptive words that explain what we want to say clearly.

Clear communication is the result of a process of thought and intent, and only then speaking out or putting words to paper.

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